Perfectionism

Perfectionism is paradoxically demotivating.

Have you ever thought something like “I could never run a marathon, so I won’t start exercising.” or “Whelp, I had one serving of dessert when I said I wouldn’t, so much for my diet, I may as well as have seconds.” I know I have.

It’s the paradox of perfectionism. Instead of motivating action, perfectionism encourages procrastination and self-sabotage–after all, it hurts to fail and, when perfection is the standard, failure occurs frequently.

It’s a terrible mindset but, if I’m not careful, it’s a mindset I apply naturally. As a result, I’ve attempted to replace perfectionism with a healthier mindset I call incrementalism.

Incrementalism

Incrementalism redefines success from achieving perfection to making progress. This tiny mindset shift takes failure from something permanent and absolute (goal achievement is discrete–it either happens or doesn’t) to something temporary and relative (progress is a continuous, everchanging measurement) and, in doing so, promotes action.

Perfectionism is demotivating because failure is permanent and absolute. Perfectionists seek psychological safety in procrastination and challenge avoidance–if they never attempt to run a marathon, they can’t fail in the attempt. Likewise, the perfectionist crumples under the pressure of small setbacks–if they have one helping of dessert, they’ve already “failed” and may as well as have a second.

In contrast, incrementalism is motivating because failure is temporary and relative. The incrementalist celebrates success with each step of progress. As a result, they’re motivated to take on challenges–each marathon training session is a moment of success and actually running one is just a bonus. Likewise, the perfectionist is not defined by a moment of weakness–even if they fail to resist the first helping of dessert, they can succeed in the next moment by saying no to a second.

My Experience with Incrementalism

I find the incrementalist mindset to be far more constructive than the perfectionist mindset.

• I’m motivated to try hard things because, even if I start small, every bit of progress is counted as a success.
• I readily forgive my failures which reduces my fear of failure while simultaneously increasing my resilience to failure.

Incrementalism has helped me succeed at work, learn gymnastics as an adult, improve my diet, become a vegetarian, refine my sleep routine, develop as a friend, and mature as a husband. Approaching these with a perfectionists attitude would have hindered my personal growth and I am thankful I’ve discovered incrementalism.

The next time you find perfectionism holding you back, remember: action is the measure of success and failure is temporary. Take the next step.

Post Note: Incrementalism in Practice

Ironically, it can be tempting to be a perfectionist with respect to incrementalism. Sometimes, we’ll catch ourselves falling back into our perfectionist habits and, as incrementalists, we can forgive ourselves and attempt to do better next time.